Best Advice

This advice was given to me for having a baby and HAVING a baby.

1.  Buy SUPERSIZED versions of your favorite shampoo and conditioner.  You will feel gross to say the least. Your daily shower (and yes, if you want to take one you will find a way) may be the quickest, yet the most relaxing time of your day - and your only alone time.  Getting to the store is hard.  If you don't want to end up using an old bottle of Suave that you picked up at the 7-11, then have these things ready to break open like a good bottle of champagne when you get home from the hospital.
2.  Get new sweats, panties, and t-shirts.  Yes, you will very likely come home much closer to the size you left than you were expecting, and you CAN wear your maternity clothes.  But by this time you will despise every last article of maternity gear, not to mention they may have gone through any combination of pee-pee accidents, throw-up, excessive sweating, taco bell craving spills, or amniotic fluid (in my case all of the above) in the last few weeks. These won't exactly get the royal treatment, so don't go all Lululemon, because this will make blow outs less funny and more infuriating.  But make them cute, comfortable, and clean.  These will be in pictures F-O-R E-V-E-R!

3.  Be in pictures.  You will want to take a million pictures of your baby - put someone in charge of snapping a few that have you in them.  Even if you feel like Jabba the Hut (and you will) because one day your child will challenge you to prove that they are yours and the wrecked body somehow won't convince them (I believe you now Mom and Dad).
4.  Have an 8th grade flashback.  Get something to treat breakouts fast.  This is a good option, but know what works for you.  Recall the breakouts you got when you first found out you were pregnant.  Multiply by a gazillion.  And remember, the pictures.






Ok, now that your ready to come home, it's time to go have the baby.

5.  Don't take many clothes, and don't take ANY that you don't want to put in the trash swiftly upon your return home.  Even if you think you would rather be in your own clothes, wear their gown.  Socks and slippers will at best be all over a hospital floor and at worst (read: likely) get soaked by a combination of 3-5 bodily fluids.  Ask me if you really want to know what is going to happen the first time you stand up, or just trust me that you want to be in their gowns.   They will be checking or manipulating you every few hours at least - you want them to have very easy access.
6.  Find a nurse that you like.  If you don't like yours, it is ok to ask for a different one...THIS will be your angel or your worst nightmare for the next few hours.  Then tell them if you are scared.  It really helps to say it out loud and they will make you feel better (if they are the angel variety).
7. Be flexible.  You can have all the plans you want, but this is going to go how it's going to go. Definitely know what you want, but be ready to throw what you want out the window if it means healthy baby and healthy mama.
8.  It's ok if you don't love the baby right away, it's NOT ok if you want to flush the baby down the toilet - and if you do, call someone(this was the most well put AND useful advice I received).  By the time my nugget was born I had been through a couple of days of labor, had been given meds to numb me, meds to calm me, and meds to stop me from hurling.  I was dizzy and shaking and overwhelmed and scared.  I couldn't look at her and skin to skin was likened to setting a boulder on my chest at that moment.  Within four hours, my heart was bursting every time I looked at her.  I never had a problem after that, but I had a plan in place in case I started feeling depressed.  That alone may have been what helped me.
9.  Take the medicine.  They may give you Vicodin or suggest Advil - whatever it is, take it.  A negligible amount will get into your breast milk if you're breastfeeding.  The baby will be fine, and will be better the more comfortable you are. In fact, not being in pain and awake in the few moments that you COULD sleep may do much more good for your milk supply.

And this final one is c-section specific.

10. Move as soon as you can.  Bicycle kick your feet as soon as you can (I could  move my feet throughout). Get up and stand STRAIGHT up.  Not hunched or you will think you can never stand without tearing open. Take walks to the bathroom, up and down the hall, around your room.  It will be good for your circulation, help you heal, and show you that you will not split open with the slightest movement.


So for all my detesting of advice- this was actually some good stuff.  Special thanks to involuntary contributors to this blog, including My Ma, Auntie G, Liz, Susie, and Courtney.