New Views on Child Labor Laws

And that view is...this kid has 12 weeks from date of birth to become gainfully employed. Even better is if this kid becomes gainfully employed in the business of infant care...no really. I'm looking into it.

I know it's probably a little early, but I am looking into infant childcare. I have a tentative plan to bring the baby into work with me until it goes from whine-o to destruct-o. However, like the rest of this process, I have no experience - ZILCH...so plans are little more than day dreams. And everyone has a different take on what is best - so advice is coming out on the same level as excuses and a$$holes right now (you know, everyone's got 'em, and they all stink??)

Like everything else, I did a little searching and GOOD GAWD this is scary. Most of the institutional places charge monthly what I wasn't paying in rent 2 months ago. Seriously, it would cost less to get this kid her own 1 bedroom apartment WITH gym acess and a washer-dryer in the unit, than it would to use any of the big name infant care- complete with infant curicullum- places. And then there are the craigslist-advertising, mom and pop places. These sketch me out a little from the beginning - it's like handing your baby over to a stranger - it actually all is. But seriously, if they can't write a clear sentence do I want them speaking to, much less caring for the well being of, my child?! If they advertise their facility as "homely and safe," do I assume that it is ugly? If I can't assume that, can I actually really assume it's safe either?

So these are my options:

-Leave the baby where it is for another 4 years or so...if it comes out potty trained and in the "pre-school" phase, then I will save TONS. Yes, I understand the inexplicable stretch marks this will create.

-Start my own infant care. Despite the CRAZY this would induce, I could have 3 paying infants and make what I make now...but in sweats and no make-up:) However, that would make 4 total infants...and that is beyond crazy.

-Dress my kid up in fur and drop her off at Petco. They have great doggie care room and it would teach Baby Plaza love for animals and get TONS of activity. She would end up Mogoli-ish, which could be kind of cute.

So I have some time to decide...but this is where I'm at with that.