Monday, March 28, 2011

Where's My KID?! (And Who is WES?!)

So my pregnancy (just like my wedding planning - if you kept up on THAT fiasco) has been riddled with dreams. Up until now they mostly focus around anyone I've ever met in my entire life in situations that most people couldn't, well....dream up. I'm pregnant in most of them, but it's of little consequence, except the dreams where I realize I've been smoking or drinking.
Three nights ago, that all changed. I had a dream that we went to the baseball games of Auntie G's boys. In the stands sat pretty much everyone who I would ever let take care of my baby...all the grandmas, Auntie G and her mom, my boss and her mom, everyone! As I looked around I realized, I don't know who's watching MY BABY. So I'm already upset (I had also forgotten to wear pants, so I was sitting in a jersey and purple underwear) and now I'm grilling everyone as to where my kid is. It seemed that something was up - they were planning some suprise, so they couldn't/wouldn't tell me. Everyone thought it was hilarious and I was FURIOUS. No one took me seriously. I even reminded my mom how mad she was, years back, when Auntie G wouldn't tell her where I was (to G's credit, it's not easy to tell a mom her adult drunk daughter ditched a child's birthday party with a dude!) Finally I used my "because we're best friends" voice with Auntie G and she told me Wes. Well, shit, I don't know a Wes! I was racking my brain to remember WHO Wes was...but I knew I wanted my kid...then I woke up. At 6:25a on a Saturday. Furious.
Now since we're staying at my mom's during the updates to our new house, I have limited hideouts to which I can steal away and have my own moments of pregnancy psychosis. So it was either try to lay still next to Mr. P who is gone for 17 hours a day working a job, then on our house - or go to where I can hear happy, awake voices, in my mom's room. I go into my mom's room and tell her she pissed me off in my dream. She laughs. I BURST into tears. Why? I don't know. I continue to cry as I tell her how mad I was. She decides that I feel out of control (duh!) and it's showing up in my dream (double duh!). So this was 5 days ago...since then my dreams have consisted living in hiding in a country riddled by holy war, and the doctor calling and saying she can't find a heartbeat. Neither upset me NEARLY as much. What a nut.

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